Just Tired

I'm tired.. I slept quite a bit today, but the weeks before I have been averaging about 4-5 hours a night. I don't know how long I can do this. Things are so crazy hectic, nothing is settled, from the fact that I changed places of work, new rules, new hours, less hours, to the fact that my whole family has all been hit hard, sick, with the exceptions of my mom, littlest brother, and myself so far. I wish I could be at home with my mom, who is exhausted, helping care for the sick fam, instead of at work dealing with an angry child who blames everyone but herself for the consequences of her actions.

:D

Happy as a bird with a french fry!!! :D

Challenge-week 4

Wow... I can't believe its week Four already!! I wish the weight was moving off alittle faster, but its been really hard the last couple weeks, just seems like I've been going out so much, and it doesnt look like its gonna get any easier!!! AAHH!!! lol.. but thankfully, its still coming off, very slowly, yes, but it is.

Previous weight: 187 lbs

Current wieght: 185.8 lbs

My goal is to somehow lose 2 lbs this week!!!

Special

Tonight was special. What made it special? Nothing really.... I woke up with a deep desire to be feminine, so I put on one of my two long skirts, with a cute top. I wore my hair with big curls, and halfway up, I got out my dottie socks, and put on some makeup. I wasn't sure what I was gonna do, for all i knew I might just stay home tonight! It is a beautiful night, rainy and chilly, the perfect kind of night for a book, and hot cocoa by the fireplace!!!!!

Random Eve

Today I woke up to a loud BANG!!! then my brothers truck dying out front of the house. I jumped out of bed, and ran down the stairs pulling on my clothes as I went, when I opened up the front door I yelled out, hey!! Everything ok?? He told me that his battery had died. I went back in, and slipped on my sisters crocs and my brothers stinky sweatshirt, grabbed my keys and went out to help him jump his truck. We got it going in no time, and b4 he could leave I asked him what he was up to tonight, he told me that he was gonna run to the Amish dented can store. I looked at him funny, he was very grimy, not having cleaned up after work, "Are you going like THAT??" He shrugged, "Sure, why not?" I laughed, "can I come?" "Sure." So I scrambled into the passenger seat, and we took off in his Jimmy. We got to the store just before they closed and Stephen took his time looking at all the food, chosing not to get alot of the things he normally would get because the prices had gone up nearly double what they had been the times b4 when he'd been there. We used to be able to get like 2 boxes of groceries for about $30, but today he got two boxes, for about $55, so sad :(.... On the way home the sky was soooo gorgeous, such a beautiful sunset!! I was very thankful to be home and get that stinky sweatshirt off tho lol...

Stiff and Sore

My brothers are in a volley ball league, but they also get together with some youth to practice quite often. The other night they got together at a nearby school to practice, so I went to play, and have a good time with some young ppl. When I got there I was the oldest Single person there, I felt kindof out of place, but I had a good time, especially once I got warmed up and was actually able to hit the ball.. lol. That night after I got to work I recieved a comment from my brother, you are gonna be so sore tomorrow!! I was like.. NAH... but as the night wore on, yep, all my muscles began to get stiff and sore. Went home and slept, when I woke up, ooohhh baby, yep, I'm sore!! Not as young as I used to be any more!!! What really makes me nervous is...... the other day my friend found a gray hair growing on my head!!! I'm getting old..... what did I do to deserve this?? I'm not even married or have any kids yet!!! Yikes!!

Week 3- it was something :D

Week three is over!!! wow.. I'm really tired.. lol. Did ok this week! lol... lost about 1 1/2 pounds this week!!!! YAY!!! Not Super exciting, but its something! lol.

Previous weight: 188.4

Current weight: 187

Struggles

taken the worst morning that I had this morning at work.....

This week at work has been a struggle, spiritually, and mentally, which... maybe the two go together?? The first night was a battle with spirits of fear, opened up by residents watching movies with occult in them. I came into work the other night to the whole house torn apart, every morning has been a literal battle to get the girls out of bed, to eat breakfast, and to get them out the door to school... with myself still in one piece, and the girls in one piece also. For some reason most of them have been bent on destroying staff, each other, and themselves all at the same time. I am grateful for the one resident that God had there to make me laugh, and stand by my side when another resident was threatening to kill me. On top of all that has been a major battle against depression this week.. why? I am not sure why, but I am getting so tired of it. It needs to end. The peace of God is to reign in this heart! No matter the circumstances of this life.

Need

Lord, today I need you, desperately

I see you in the quiet, cool moon above

In the stars that show your glory

I feel you in the crisp night breeze

The smell of autumn leaves

Lord, tonight I'm hungry for you

Please, let me be in your presence..

Tonight... Lord, please

Let me know You're near me

Week Two

Well.. week two is over!! lol.. and I am not too excited about it, I guess I will do my best to look on the bright side :)... I didnt gain any back :D. I am exactly the same as I was last week on Thursday.. soo thats good.. still total I lost 5 pds in two weeks.. not too bad!! It was a really hard week, because I had a birthday party, and ate out a couple times... :S. Now for next week!! :D I'll do better this time ...

Moons, Lice, and Spiders

AAAAHHHHH!!!! Lice epidemic!! :S.. I've never had lice b4!, here at work we have found lice on one of the girls...I hope and pray so much that I don't get any..... eeewwww.. and tonight I was standing in the hallway talking to one of the girls and all the sudden her eyes get like a MILE wide... lol and she stutters.. aahhh Miss Lemler.. there is a bug on you.. a HUGE bug.. I was like.. WHERE!! lol she goes.. its crawling up ur front! I looked down and one of the hugest spiders was on my chest crawling towards my shoulder.. I yelped so loud and flung that thing.. well.. I dunno where it is now.. but its not on me.... She wouldnt sleep in her room lol, because she thought the spider is in there.... I don't blame her.. I hate them. Whew! anyways.. lol it was an interesting start to the night! Then I was sitting with my sister talking about a project she was doing when I happened to look out the window and see the most GORGEOUS moon behind my house... I jumped up even b4 she was finished and was out the door with the camara lol... :) I love Him so much!! I always feel like he is saying he loves me too when he puts out a beautiful moon, or sunset, or day for me to enjoy.. :)

Challenge

I've been afraid to blog on a challenge I've set for myself.... Why?? Because I feel it makes me accountable to accomplish it. So.. here goes. My goal is to be the smallest adult size that I have ever been at by next summer, and to blog on my progress every week until I get there. The smallest I have ever been as an adult is a size 8, so this is going to be quite a challenge for me, as I am now a size 16. I began watching what I eat a week ago last thursday, at the week checkpoint I had lost 5 pounds, which it exciting, but then gained one back, a major disappointment to me. I keep reminding myself.. I can do all things thru Christ who strengthens me!

Green hands

Yes, my hands are stained GREEN!!! And it has NOTHING to do with Holloween, tho it happened on the 31st :). Today, I helped my brother tie-dye a couple t-shirts for himself, and our other brother, so much fun!! And sooo messy!!! lol! Lately I feel like I am going back to my second childhood! lol, been having so much fun. The other day, couple girlfriends and I jamming around the living room to Veggie Tales singin Oldies, walking in the rain, playing in the puddles, taking pictures of anything and everything just for the fun of it, playing in the leaves, tie dyeing tshirts, and my sis and I totally whopping my brothers at Kemps :D. Woo hoo!! I love being a CHILD of the King!! :D