Clouds

Was just laying looking up at the few clouds that there are in the sky, closed my eyes for a couple seconds in prayer, when I opened them the clouds I had been watching had nearly disappeared in the sun. Like our problems in the light of His presence....

Wait

Waiting
Breath Short
Fingers icy
Stomach churning

Mind running
Too fast
This way
That way

Nervous
Heart Pounding
When Lord?
What now Lord???

I know
I'm where
You want me to be
Where you put me.

But whats next Lord??

June 27

The family is watching a sad boring movie... :(..... Talk about melancholy... I think I am going to go take a nap so I will be awake at work tonight!! I finished my 30 faces in 30 days!!! YAHOO!!!! So exciting! Now I have a week off!! That is wonderful to me..... ahhhhhhh.... Maybe I can spend some time in the poooooolllll ha ha. About time to get some sun, since the summer is already half gone!! lol I am going to VIRGINIA in about a month and a half!! I can't wait. I get to see Ana, and some new scenery!! Maybe meet a new friend!! I'm so excited! Lord please work it out, and open the doors if its YOUR will for me to be over there!!!

Falling

Teetering, on the edge
Knowing with one breath,
That'll be the end.

Don't wanna fall,
might fall up
might fall down

Scared to fall,
Falling up will you hold me?
falling down, will you catch me?

Can I stand in the balance?
Will you help me not to waver?
Till all You fulfill??

Keep me

Wow... never thought I'd be HERE... TODAY.... Keep workin in me Lord!! Keep me close to you, never let me stray, no matter what it takes Lord.

Tamale!!!

Cook it
Mix it
Cut it
Blend it

Smack it
Hit it
Squash it
Move it

Fill it
Meat it
Mole it
Fold it

Wrap it
Tie it
Lay it
Do it again!

Over 500 times!!!

I'm not the girl I was b4

I'm not the girl I was b4.
You coming out of the shadows
Kind and caring,
abrupt, and short
what once was yours
won't break now

I'm not the girl I was b4
You think I'm the same
You think I've not changed
There is only one reason
I am still here
Only one reason,
I am not living in fear

I'm not the girl I was b4.
I don't want to be here
Just wanna move on
I don't know why
The Holy Spirit keeps askin
Prompting me to keep on
Nudging me, gently pushing....pray

I'm not the girl I was b4
run only by emotions and fears
scared to lose the one thing
I held the most dear
the one thing
that broke
me.

I'm not the girl I was b4.
He took that vessel broken
Glued it back with His love
Made it again with His grace
Its more beautiful now
best of all, there's strenth
to the beauty.

I'm not the girl I was b4
I'm praying for you each day
Not hoping for what was or can be
Not wishing for you now
I'm just being obedient
Being what I should have been
I'm not the girl I was B4

Tired

I'm so so so tired.
I can't keep my eyes open.
I don't want to do this any more.
I just want to sleep.
To drown in the soft cool fluffiness
of my own sweet bed
Just to stay there in oblivion
until there's no tiredness left
till I don't wanna sleep no more!!!

Alone

How is it possible to be so surrounded by family, friends, and loved ones, yet still feel the most alone that you've ever been?? Gotta get outa this rut, outa this mind set. Don't wanna feel alone the rest of my life!!!! Not only is it killin me, its hurtin the ones I love, cuz they feel they aren't enough. Why?? Cuz they aren't. No one can be, besides HIM. Help me please Lord???

Training finale

YAY!!! I made it thru training!! So excited. I loved the moment when my trainer looked at me, closed his book and said, Sarah... you are now... TCI certified.... what a feeling of accomplishment!! With God's help, I did well, in spite of severe sleep loss.! I managed to get an A on the book part, and 100% on the physical! As I left that church in Leesburg I almost cried, knowing that I would prolly not see those young ppl that i had spent the last four days with much any more. :(

SLEEP

SLEEEEPPPPP!!! lol, I got about six hours of it tonight after two days with about 4 hours!! AHHH thank God, it felt sooooo good. Thanks so much to one of my co-workers who was kind enough to pick up half of my shift tonight, other wise I would be so out. There is still a long stretch to go today without sleep, but I feel like I can handle it now with God's help of course. :D. Well, I better run, only got half a shift now to do all the work!! fun fun.

People are often unreasonable, and self-centered.
Forgive them anyway.
If you are kind ppl may accuse you of ulterior motives.
Be kind anyway.
If you are honest, ppl may cheat you.
Be honest anyway.
If you find happiness, ppl may be jealous.
Be happy anyway.
The good you do today may be forgotten tomorrow.
Do good anyway.
Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough.
Give your best anyway.
For you see, in the end, its between you and God.
It was never between you and them anyway.
~Mother Theresa~

Training

Training is going great!! I am going on three hours of sleep :D, and still doing ok. We will see tho tomorrow at five pm. Today at training, we did this realllllllyyyyyy uncomfortable excersize where they had us paired with the opposite person height wise, I was the second to shortest, so I was paired with of course, the second to tallest guy in the room, and also one of the handsomest. In this excersize we had to stare for thirty second increments into eachothers eyes. WOW the power that eye contact has!!!!! It was torture, and we had to do it four different times. I thought my heart was going to beat out of my chest I was so nervous. Needless to say, I will never forget the color of this guys eyes or the laugh lines around his eyes when he smiles!!! lol.

They talked about communicating authority, and intimidation with height level, and body stance, what you are telling someone with body distance. Very interesting stuff. Then they also mentioned that just maintaining that eye contact for long periods of time can create feelings of romance or intimacy. Try it!!! preferably with your significant other!!! lol.

wHy Is It?

Why is it that
sometimes we tend to
hold on to the ppl that
have hurt us
the most???