Loved Ones

My head rests on my elbow on the desk. Tears pour down my face, but as you speak to my heart a tremulous smile breaks across my face. So tempted to despair at times because it seems like I'm so out of control, can't do the things I want to. Want to help people I love out, but don't have the means, want to encourage them but don't have the words, want to show them how much you really love them, but my arms cannot reach to where they are. Would do my best to speak in love, but they don't seem to want to hear. When I begin to falter, and doubt begins to creep in, You remind me of what You have done for me. How far You have brought me. I am reassured of how much You love me, how much You love them. That I can rest in You to care for me, that I can rest in You to care for them, because You do love them first... and You do love them more. I will recline in your love, and let you do what you do best.

Please help me to be happy, and enjoy the things you have given me. Please help me not to wish for the things I do not have.

LIVE

From here back to the entry titled Dreams of You are some things I had written, but not posted in the month of November, cuz I wasn't sure about posting them..... so they are out of order quite a bit.


Something has been happening. I can tell something is wrong, my stomach has been in a gut wrenching knot all day. God please give me ur peace, and protect and keep those I love, keep your angels around them dear Jesus??

Forgetting those things which are behind, and looking forward.... LIVE

To Trust You more....

Why don't I pray more, trust more, spend more time talking with you, instead of talking about the problems of myself and others? Please help me not to be negative about myself, and others, but Lord help me to see and love others thru your eyes, with your love alone. Please put a watch over my lips that what I say pleases, and glorify's you Jesus. IJN

Someone to talk to...

Wandering from site to site, its a quiet night, just wish for someone to talk with. Someone who is not weird, but who loves the Lord as much as I do. Someone who I know won't make nasty comments, or try to talk dirty to me. Someone who won't tell me that my ministry is to the phillipino people, that I should marry them and move to the phillipines lol... Or tell me that I am naive becuz I wanna obey God's standards in the word....Is it too much to ask Lord?

Alone

I know you do miracles every day, I know you've sustained me to this point in my life Lord. I'm just SOOO lonely Lord... I've asked you for the miracle of true love since I was old enough to know what it was, yet I am almost 28, and obviously for some reason it eludes me. I've been feeling so alone God. Even tho I spent a few hours tonight with alot of ppl, I still am lonely. Please won't you work a miracle now? I don't wanna be alone any more Lord. So tired of being alone.

Need

Lord, today I need you, desperately

I see you in the quiet, cool moon above

In the stars that show your glory

I feel you in the crisp night breeze

The smell of autumn leaves

Lord, tonight I'm hungry for you

Please, let me be in your presence..

Tonight... Lord, please

Let me know You're near me

Desires

Lord, I'm sorry for not being content, for not just waiting for you to move. Now there has arisen just so many things that my heart desires, and selfishly I see my life is passing, not knowing your timing I become scared that you might move too late. Lord, I know that right now all I must want is you. I thought I was doing so well, I have been so happy, active, just sparkling in my life, then I made one choice, ignored your voice once.... and here I am again, close to the bottom, I feel so weak Lord, I need your hand to reach down for mine, please pull me back out of this place, and let me fly again? I feel I can't even reach up to you, my hands are too heavy right now Lord. I hear your voice calling me near to you, but my eyes are downcast. Lord, I'm sorry, I didn't know why you were telling me not to go... I knew I heard it, but I kept thinking.. WHY in the world would I not be able to go??? My intentions weren't in the wrong place. Until I came home, and I realized, I have just ruined any chances I had for my dreams to come true. Please forgive me Lord, for not listening to you? Please Lord be patient with me, teach me again the lesson I haven't yet learned... IJN Amen

Keep me

Wow... never thought I'd be HERE... TODAY.... Keep workin in me Lord!! Keep me close to you, never let me stray, no matter what it takes Lord.

Happy

Happy... just wanna be happy again....
Lord please give me your joy?
Please help me live???
Help me forget?????
Just be me again?
No more tears,
When no
one
is
looking????? Please?

Thankyou, I love you Lord.

Never let go

So went to the beach today! was real chilly, but truly enjoyed the sunshine! God is doing an amazing work in my heart. Teaching me to trust Him. I just cry out to him.. please keep teaching me... even tho it hurts so much, keep working on me, never let go of me, whatever it takes. I want to be all yours Lord.

Be my Refuge...

I should be at church..... I am at home....... Today is one of those days I feel I desperately need to be in His presence. The roads are horribly dangerous right now, so I'm not going out any where unless I have to. Lord, I need you... Please hold me close?? Be my refuge when doubts come at me please.... Help me. IJN

God has a sense of humor

I think God has a huge sense of humor! After this last couple weeks, I am sure of it! Lord, please help me trust you more, to rely fully on you, and never to look to someone else for too much!!! You have been trying to teach me this lesson for a LOOONNGGG time, one of these days, I am gonna GET it! lol. I love you Lord. Thankyou for working on me, and never giving up on me!!!

Fill me

Lord, please empty me of me, please fill me with you, so that for the rest of my life I can give more of you to those you loved first, and then gave to me to love too....... IJN Amen